impatient man: bus driver can you go faster im late for work
worlds most obedient bus driver: whatever you say boss
guy on the bus who turns in to a hungry pack of wild hyenas whenever hes traveling faster than 30mph:
[Transcript: “#there are now 893041 original posts left #this took 7 of them”. End transcript]
Beelzebufo ampinga, the giant Neobatrachian frog from Cretaceous Madagascar, trying its best.
Prehistoric Planet 2 : Episode 3 - Swamps
aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
love how donating 3 kidneys is morally neutral
daughter-of-sapph0
mintedwitcher
I’ve made this post like six times but it still fucks me up the China’s mountains just look like that. Like I spent decades thinking it was stylistic but no, they just have different mountains over there.
For reference, here’s what my local mountains look like:
Here’s the general art style Chinese mountains are drawn in:
And here’s how some of them actually look:
What the FUCK
I’m specifically reblogging this here because I know there is a geological reason for this and I know at least one of you has to know it.
thank you
To be clear, karst is a type of topography, not a mountain.
In Japan you’ll find limestone pinnacles, but karst is often heavy in sink holes and caves. It depends a lot on the weather and availability of water.
Here are some fun diagrams to explain the landforms!
begging some of you to watch any asian media
bro. how the fuck did you think i found out about the mountains.
